Do you see your partner as an equal?

I bet you are saying in answer to that question, “Of course.“

But as men, we tend to rely on the values and behaviors passed down to us by our fathers. And if our father was not one who believed in equality of the marriage partners, it is doubtful that we feel that way either. Of course, some of us have made specific efforts to overcome whatever biases we may have in this area, but still our culture has not caught up with the idea of absolute gender equality.

Even if you watch commercials or movies on TV, you’ll notice a lot of gender bias. There are some cute little efforts to prove otherwise, but our culture is our culture. And most of us harbor some belief that men should have the final say, or are to be in charge, etc. 

This creates havoc in a modern marriage. Not only are women capable of matching us one for one in every way, in many ways they are superior. And we need to make sure we take their viewpoint into account.

So you might want to ask yourself how you feel about this issue and whether you need to make some adjustments. A larger question might be what have you been teaching your sons about this issue. It could present a problem in their marriage down the road.

Spend some time thinking about this. If you are willing, have a conversation with your partner about this. Ask if you are perceived as treating them as an equal. This is more than just nice to have, it is an important issue in all of our relationships. Even at work some of our outdated ideas can get in the way of how we assign tasks, how we promote individuals, etc.

I would be interested in your reaction to this idea. I would be extremely interested in any change of attitude you may have had over the years.

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Thanks for your valuable support in 2019 and I look forward to connecting with you in 2020.