Become the Spiritual Leader of Your Family

I was really surprised when the Men in Balance survey of churchgoing men said that most men feel their families do not see them as the spiritual leader of the family.

What? If we are not the spiritual leader of our family, then who is?

This is not a job we can leave entirely up to our wives. There are real consequences for children not having a spiritual anchor in their life. Not to mention how important it is to us individually.

I want to be clear: this is more than just showing up at church with your children, as important as that is. This involves modeling a spiritual side of yourself every day of your life. It involves explaining to your children the ethical and moral reasons for your decisions. And helping them work through their decisions using the same approach.

Church attendance is falling rapidly. This is a trend which has been going on for a decade or more. The implications of this are staggering. It means that more and more children are not being exposed to corporate worship or corporate value sharing. And if a parent is not providing that, we leave them rudderless to figure out life without any real guard rails.

I talk to a lot of families who have drug or alcohol problems among their teenagers, or simply have a bad relationship with their kids. In many cases it seems these children are running the household and the adults don’t know where to catch hold. When I ask, I usually find there has been no ongoing spiritual teaching in the family.

If a child is not receiving moral and spiritual guidance in church or Sunday school, and they are not receiving it from their parents, then who do you think will give this to them? They will figure out what their own spiritual makeup is about and act accordingly. If that is a vacuum left open by default, they will fill it with whatever is handy – – and that will likely not be healthy.

Even if you do not consider yourself a believer, you do have a spiritual side and you should help your children find and explore theirs. Our spiritual makeup is undeniable. It is not simply acceptable to be a living, breathing organism on this earth with no spiritual grounding.

Everything from from managing relationships to deep personal faith depends on having some spiritual awareness and some sense of our place in the universe. One of the most obvious ways we can express this is through our service to others. If we are involved in serving others, and teach our children this lesson, we have gone a long way toward building a better world.

By all means, you should be clear in your own mind about your spiritual makeup and how that is demonstrated in your life. The next step is to transmit that to your children and hopefully they will do the same.

So maybe it’s time for a spiritual checkup. Maybe even some spiritual push-ups to get back in shape. Think about it as a necessary part of your overall makeup that will not be denied. I’m convinced it is as critical a need as air and water in the final analysis.

What have you learned that works in being a spiritual leader in your own family? What would you suggest others try? What questions do you have about how to get started doing this?

It is important that we share our experiences with each other. Reply to this email with whatever advice you would give other men so that we can learn from each other.

And decide this week how you will handle your own spirituality and your role as the spiritual leader of your family.