Spirituality in Couples

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As you may have seen, we’ve been focusing much of our energy lately into dissecting what it means to be a couple in balance. 
 
Something that’s often a challenge for couples is figuring out how to merge your spousal identity (who you are with your partner) with your spiritual identity (who you are when connecting with spirituality, religion, God, etc.).
 
One of the definitions of spirituality is getting outside yourself.
 
Marriage or close relationship forces you to get outside yourself by taking into account the other person’s interest in most everything you do.
 
It’s not always easy to bring your partner into your spiritual world, which is something deeply personal. It can be even more challenging if you and your partner vary in beliefs and styles of practice. However, creating a shared spirituality can allow you to see one another in a different light, and will lead to more grace and gratitude in your relationship. 
 
Below are some ways that you and your partner can grow your shared spiritual connection:

Self Reflection

This is truly the first step to creating any sort of positive change in your life. Understanding who you are in your relationship includes diving deep into the way you communicate with your partner, how you feel in the relationship, areas that could be improved and beyond.

Reflecting on who you are spiritually is also key. If you haven’t recently, jot down your values and why they’re important to you. Then, take it a step further and start to tie those values to your faith and the rituals you choose to participate in based on those values.

Are your values and the way you interact in your relationship aligned?

Have Meaningful Conversations

Once you have some clarity on your role in your relationship and your feelings about the spiritual path you’re taking, then it’s time to sit down with your partner and have some meaningful conversations.

Ask them the same tough questions you’ve just asked yourself. Share your own viewpoints with them and ask where they stand in their beliefs and practices. Through this conversation you may learn some things about your spouse or partner’s values that you may not have known.

Approach this conversation from a place of love and understanding and don’t be discouraged if your partner doesn’t have answers for you at that moment. Allow the act of making space for this conversation symbolize the opening of a door to continued meaningful conversations.

Design a Daily Spiritual Practice

Now that you and your partner are clear on your values, and what aspects of spirituality are important to you, you can begin to find your shared spiritual practice.

This can take a number of different shapes, and even if you and your spouse aren’t completely on the same page spiritually, there are opportunities to find rituals that suit both of you.

Perhaps you and your partner can set out time to pray or meditate together each day. You can also set aside time to share stories, or memories that feel close to your soul, or attend religious services together. There’s no ‘one-size fits all’ here but learning to combine your spiritual journeys is sacred to your relationship.

Create Time for Regular Intimacy

Intimacy can similarly take many forms. It’s worth having a conversation with your partner about what intimacy means for them. Physical intimacy relates directly to spirituality when practiced with awareness and intention. Similar to meditation, it has the ability to allow you to learn more deeply about yourself, your partner and beyond.

Setting out time for regular intimacy will help prioritize this form of connecting with spirituality. Our lives can get extremely busy, and although you don’t necessarily need to mark a date on the calendar, it’s important to make intimacy a priority in your relationship and spiritual practice.