Finding a Light in the Dark: How to Make the Most of Therapy

Pursuing psychotherapy is a brave endeavor. Many people make this choice when they find themselves in a dark place and are unable to see any light ahead of them.

Whatever your reasons for choosing therapy, however you get to the therapy office, I have a tremendous faith in the psychotherapeutic process. When a therapist and the person seeking help can earnestly work together to explore the person’s inner world, utilizing the contact made between the two of them (the therapeutic relationship), greater insight and an increased ability to address and work through inner conflicts is likely, and maturation often follows.

Keeping the following eight points in mind will help you get the most out of your therapy sessions.

1. Therapy starts when you decide to seek therapy.

Take your search for a therapist seriously. Try to get a few names of potential therapists you can then interview.

2. Allow yourself the time to assess the fit of your therapist.

If you are in distress, you may be anxious to begin therapy and alleviate some of what you are struggling with. You might want to just choose a therapist at random and fall right into the process of therapy. While this can work for some people, it is often best to consider the first few sessions as a mutual assessment and use them to get a felt sense of whether this therapist not only listens, but hears what you have to say, and if this is a helping professional you feel comfortable with.

3. Take some time in the beginning to think about your goals for therapy.

Goals might include minimizing painful symptoms, gaining insight, or pursuing transformation, among others.

4. Share your doubts, fears, concerns, and hopes.

These feelings are deep expressions of you, and they can help your therapist know your particular vulnerabilities and become more informed about what you need from your therapy.

5. Talk to others who are receiving or have received “good” therapies.

It can be helpful to talk to friends or family members who have had a positive therapy experience. It’s possible to discuss this without exchanging details that may be too personal or private.

6. If you don’t like something your therapist says, tell them. If you really like something your therapist says, tell them.

It is important to share feelings of hurt, anger, or disappointment, along with more positive feelings, with your therapist. This feedback is helpful, and can be essential, as it helps your therapist get to know you better and gain greater understanding of what you need from therapy.

7. Try to reflect on each session in between sessions. Share those thoughts with your therapist.

Maximize the benefits of treatment by taking the time to reflect on what you talked about in the session and—even more importantly—what you felt during and after each session.

8. Reflect on your goals from time to time during the therapy.

Use your goals as signposts from time to time. Checking in on how things are going, with yourself and with the therapist, can be helpful.

© Copyright 2017 Ben Ringler, MFT, therapist  

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