For Him
Men tend to process information differently and typically focus on data and facts (versus feelings).
The way men process information can sometimes interfere with intimacy in a relationship and can cause them to appear insensitive
Specifically, men tend to segregate events and compartmentalize concepts and emotions. To them things are not related unless they are specifically connected in some way.
In a relationship, men must put aside their tendency to regard only data, and listen to the deep emotion around an issue voiced by their partner. To her, everything is connected and because of how men are conditioned, that can be difficult for men to understand.
Men and women define intimacy differently: men tend to think of it in sexual terms whereas women see it more in terms of safety and trust.
For Her
Because women more likely tend to focus on feelings, key words can set them off in an argument or tense moment.
Their definition of intimacy as trust and safety can cause them to come across as oversensitive in tense moments.
Just as men have to set aside some tendencies in order to truly communicate, women must do the same – – suppressing their impulse to hear primarily the emotion in a comment rather than the information.
Both women and men can add to the success quotient of a relationship by slowing down the conversation, paraphrasing back what they hear and attempting to be the container for the other person’s emotion.