Our Blog

How to Hold Yourself Accountable in Your Relationships

Relationships are not easy and require a constant effort to keep them healthy and strong. No matter how much effort we put in, there are times when we feel like we are falling short in maintaining our relationships. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, it requires accountability. Holding yourself accountable means taking responsibility for your actions and being aware of how they affect the other person.

1. Be Honest with Yourself:
Honesty is a vital aspect of any relationship, and if you're not honest with yourself, you can't be honest with your partner. Honesty starts with self-awareness. Admit to your mistakes, shortcomings, and weaknesses. Be truthful about the promises you make, the commitments you make, and the things you say. Don't make excuses, justifications, or rationalizations about your actions or behavior. Instead, own them, take responsibility for them, and apologize if necessary.

2. Communicate:
Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It's important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and expectations with your partner. One way to hold yourself accountable is to communicate your intentions. Don't hide your intentions or sugarcoat things to avoid hurting your partner. Instead, speak your truth in a respectful manner and empathize with your partner's point of view.

3. Take Responsibility:
Taking responsibility for your actions is a sign of maturity and accountability. If you did something wrong, don't deflect or blame others. Instead, own your mistakes and take responsibility for them. Acknowledge the impact of your behavior on your partner and work towards a solution that benefits both parties. Be proactive in your approach to resolving conflict. Find a solution that works for both of you instead of just trying to “win” the argument.

4. Set Boundaries:
Boundaries are essential for a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries helps to define your limits, needs, and wants. Roles, responsibilities, and expectations must be established early on in the relationship. If your partner is crossing a boundary, communicate it clearly and respectfully. Don't assume that your partner knows what you want or need. Be assertive and direct in your communication, and avoid being passive-aggressive.

5. Apologize:
Apologizing is one of the most powerful ways to hold yourself accountable. Acknowledging your wrongdoing, apologizing, and making amends help to restore trust in your relationship. When you apologize, be sincere, and show remorse for your actions. Don't give half-hearted apologies or excuse your behavior. Offer a solution to the problem and follow through on it.

Jerry Hancock