Why is She So Sensitive?

Suppose you have just had a dust-up with your spouse or partner. You may be thinking it went badly because she is too sensitive and she overreacts.
 
More likely is the possibility that you handled the conversation poorly. If most of your comments were statements about something that bothered you, that is probably not the best approach.
 
A better approach would be to make a request for a different type of behavior. Instead of saying, “You always do so and so…" how about saying, “I would really appreciate it if you did X or Y." The difference between telling someone what they’re doing wrong and requesting a different behavior can be magical.
 
Criticism is rarely welcomed, but an honest request is something that a person can hear objectively and respond to honestly.
 
If most of your statements are “you" statements, change them to "I" statements. Instead of saying, “You do this every time," you might try saying, “I need you to do something differently."
 
“You" statements (You do x or y) always sound harsh and critical and will almost always go badly. It’s true for you as well.
 
The next step, of course, is to listen carefully to the responses. The only way she knows that you heard the response is if you paraphrase it back to her. “So what I heard you saying was…"
 
These two techniques go together: Making a request and paraphrasing back responses. These two techniques can make a disagreement much less flammable and more likely to be resolved positively.
 
Try it and let me know how it goes.