Vulnerability

Here's that word again: vulnerability

Many times when I have worked with men's groups, I talk about the need for vulnerability in relationships. Men often roll their eyes and then remind me that they have been taught to be anything but vulnerable.

Yet vulnerability is essential to true intimacy. In the June 13, 2016 edition of Time magazine, an article entitled "How to Stay Married" says that vulnerability is essential for intimacy. "Without intimacy , commitment is a grind. And without commitment the whole enterprise goes pear-shaped."

Appropriate vulnerability, as my friend and former pastor Jody Seymour says, doesn't mean being totally emotionally naked; it means being willing to expose that part of yourself that allows for true connection with another person. I urged you to work on this with your partner, as this is the only workable formula for closeness.

Incidentally, I have a unique definition for intimacy: it is the ability to share something with your loved one knowing that it will not be used against you in the future. That is a trust level most of us would love to have.

There are tons of books and other materials on this subject (including on our website) and I encourage you to seek some of them out. Amen

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Help us to learn to live in intimate relationships with greater trust and openness and less defensiveness. Amen